Celebrating life!

Yesterday I suspect it was a bit quiet in the office, because I was at a very interesting workshop on In Memoriam charity activities - the kinds of things that charities do to help people remember their loved ones and celebrate their lives. Here at the hospice we have our Light up a Life ceremony, and the Life for a Life memorial trees, and I have now learned about loads more fantastic things that other charities are doing.

But throughout all this it occurred to me that we have a very difficult time talking about death in this country. I think a lot of members of the charity sector are reluctant to look at memorial activities because they don't feel it is appropriate to approach a grieving family and offer these things to them; and it is extremely difficult to know how to approach someone who has just lost a loved one. On the other hand, people who have been involved in memorial activities for their loved ones say that it was an extremely positive and helpful experience.

As more people move away from religion and communities aren't as close-knit as they used to be, there are less consolations for the loss of a loved one. Employers aren't very understanding these days when people need time off because of a bereavement, we're expected to put a brave face on things, and the world in general moves so fast that the grieving process can be swept under the rug. But taking the time to grieve is a vital part of dealing with a loss, and we all want to feel that our loved ones are being valued and respected; it is our memories that keep them with us.

So, my feeling is that we need to come together to support each other through these difficult times. In my opinion it is the role of community organisations, like ourselves, to help families to say goodbye in a way they feel honours their loved one, and to celebrate that person's life and who they were. We need to encourage people to talk about death and the emotions that surround it. Death is an inevitable part of life, and as such we have all lost someone we cared about. Therefore, rather than being embarrassed and afraid of the subject and trying to pretend it doesn't happen, we need to come together to share our experiences and remember the people we love.

We wish they could still be here, but we are priviledged to have known them at all. My family will still descend into fits of giggles thinking about things my Nan got up to! I hope you can all have a smile today for someone you love who is no longer with us.

And in the spirit of sharing our feelings, if anyone has any comments or suggestions I would be very grateful to hear them. Thank you!